Someone asked me “what makes you smile?” 

I replied, “Everything.” 

He was like “Everything? Really? Eeeeeeverything???“ As if calling my bluff.

Personally, I love my scrapes, cuts, bruises and scars.

• I don’t hide the massive railroad track-style scar that runs across my neck and up to my skull from two back-to-back lateral neck dissection surgeries that saved me from a stage three cancer that had metastasized up to my skull. 
• I don’t begrudge the people I’d trusted but who rather took my money and literally gambled hundreds of thousands of dollars away as I know that surviving those experiences has made me safer now because I have ninja-level boundaries and skills for discernment.
• And I embrace, rather than block out, the feelings generated by loss, be that the loss of my home to a flood, or the loss of a loved one, because I know that the one golden ticket each of us is granted is a rare gift and it simply comes with hardship included in the package.

All the tough times bring me closer to you, and to people around the world.

‍The truth of our shared experiences is what bonds humanity as a whole. 

So yes, I smile when I win, or get a new toy, or am feeling pretty after leaving the hair salon. 

But I also smile when missing my dad, or when grappling with financial pressures, or when cleaning up dog poop because my innocent and well-trained pup caught a stomach bug.

Every Challenge Comes With a Gift — If You Take Time to Unwrap It

Every challenge or hardship is an opportunity and if we unwrap that challenge we will always find a gift. What unwelcome experiences have hit you hard, yet left you stronger? Or more compassionate? Or more selective? Or completely transformed? Or even less attached to that which was winning too much of your time or attention? 

What a Flood Taught Me About Letting Go

Incredibly, after losing almost all my possessions when my home got flooded, in contrast to what you would think, instead of wishing and wanting for more, I in fact recoil at the thought of accumulating so much “stuff” again! I recognize how many of my life minutes all that stuff demanded. My life minutes need to be used for my experiences and creative expression and any other good things I can do here on earth. All the little objects that required maintenance, or that made it harder to keep things clean, or that weighed down my mind or my budget, are no longer appealing to me. I even notice myself thinking differently. Recently in a museum gift shop I felt that pull to “buy stuff” and “take the art experience with me” in the form of a Picasso-branded mug or a Degas-inspired tote bag. But I had an equally strong pull within me to cherish this moment and memory for exactly what it was, food for the brain and the mind. But we don’t keep every meal we eat forever. We savour it, grow from it, and that’s that. It’s enough. 

The “buy it” and “keep everything” emotion is actually connected to a sense of want or lack. When you let go you truly feel in flow with a sense of abundance and very present enjoyment of what passes by without having to grab at it and take a piece of it home. 

My flood gave me the gift of that perspective and I hope I continue to grow with it. 

What I Found When I Opened the Old Photo Albums

In addition, I was reminded of many other gifts I’ve received from experiencing challenges when I recently pulled my old photo albums out of storage. I did this as part of a project for a video I was putting together to share details of my long diet journey that had the once-vegan-me landing here, at 54, able to eat a whole 20 oz cowboy steak in one sitting. 😂 You can watch me eat a whole cowboy steak here.

So I was flipping through hundreds of old photos to find a few I could use to illustrate some of the background parts of my diet journey that I would speak of in the steak video. 

I found plenty of very happy memories depicted in those images, but it did not take long before I hit upon many that marked a very tough time or hard event in my life. I’m sure you’ve had a similar experience when you’ve gone through old photo albums. 

Writing Your Own Hero's Tale in the Hard Moments

But I was proud of what I saw in those photos. I saw my younger self not fakely smiling through hardship, but rather very consciously choosing to write my own hero’s tale in those moments. 

In some of those moments I was digging deep to learn more. In other cases I was learning to unleash a new warrior energy. And in some cases I was learning the power of zen non-reactiveness as a way to slay a dragon simply by letting it burn itself with its own fiery breath and out-of-control, flailing tale.

Take Stock of the Hardships Woven Into Your Story

Trouble can be a great trainer that leaves us stronger in so many ways. So for you today, maybe you can take stock of what hardships have been woven into the story that you are currently writing in your life. When we are comfortable embracing the bad with the good, we become less fragile, less breakable, less afraid of change. There is heroic strength in being able to speak with honesty:

• Yes, this hurts.
• Yes, this is hard. 
• Yes, this feels like too much. 
• Yes, I did not ask for nor deserve this. 

Yes, it is all true. 

And yet, you are here to continue spending your one golden ticket in the best way that you can.

Here’s to you getting started doing that thing that you know you were put here on earth to do… soon, today, right now… to unlock the alternate ending to your life.

Cheers, cin-cin and hugs, 

@MarySueIRL